I wish i was in the wii world.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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