420 ftw
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We got so high we made milksteak
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
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