Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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