You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
