hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
