Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
