just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
