i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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