What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
