I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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