Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
