My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
