if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
