Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
