wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
