im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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