do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
