I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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