Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
