Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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