Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
