Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Randomize
