TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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