Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Randomize
