saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
