Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

So drunk i had to piss sitting down...

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(315): View more from New York

my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple

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(513): View more from Ohio

I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.

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(503): View more from Oregon

You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.

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(637): View more from

I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"

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(512): View more from Texas

You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach

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(206): View more from Washington

sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"

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