I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
