i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Randomize
