I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
