but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
