There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
