He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
