he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
