Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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