i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
