Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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