you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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