after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
