Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
