i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
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