the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
drinking out of a sandbucket again
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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