im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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