so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
