Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
