It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
