You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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