she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
