Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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