I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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