He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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