The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
